No one ever asks the right questions.

Posts tagged “corrin

Konnor, Corrin, and Music

I wish I remembered my dreams, so that I could remember dreaming about my characters. Especially Corrin and Konnor. The two of them facinate me. They’re so unalike, but yet they stay by each others side like brothers. “A vengeful God and the merciful Lucifer” as put by Konnor.

I’ve just downloaded another couple of Evanescence songs I’ve never heard of, and I found “Anything For You”, as well as “Eternal”. Both of which are awesome to write to, though the former, is completely, consumingly Konnor. I had a bit of a freak out when I heard it the first time. Parcially because his love is so beautiful, so eternal, and so completely doomed that I feel sorry for what I put him through. Or rather, what Kane puts him through. But, then, no one knows about that, do they?

I’m especially upset that no one in the world knows who Konnor is- besides Lily, and she really doesn’t count because she doesn’t know the whole story either. But he is probably the most interesting, most devilish character I’ve written in a long time. I want so desperately to finish his story, but the only problem is that I know what happens at the end and the middle of the story, not the begining. And, if i’ve learned well from the botched attempt at outlining, I need to write a story all the way through in order to get it done. But, after reading about how Stephanie Meyer started Twilight in the middle, it makes me wonder if I should just start it that way. It’ll be a lot of work, but it might be worth it.

It just might see daylight afterall, no pun intended.

Rachel, though, is a problem, as is Draven. The two of them end up having a relationship, but I don’t know how it’ll play out. I’m sort of waiting for it to do that out on paper, and they’ll figure it out for themselves. Which makes my whole “start in the middle” idea go to hell. Ugh! They’re so annoying. Why can’t they just tell me what’s going to happen so I don’t have to live in all this suspense?

But no, my character’s like to suprise me. Fancy that, they like seeing me freak out almost as much as I like watching other people freak out. Lucky me.

Like, for instance, I was writing Logan’s chapter, discribing how he had saved Silas’s life when they were thirteen, and there was an undertone there that I could almost consider love- and it brought to mind the nature of friendship, and how it was only a downplayed version of love. So, I asked myself, has any of my Divine tried to take those friendships one step further, like…Xsen and Arazorn maybe?

The answer came back with a vauge sense of nonchalance. “Of course,” they said, “We’ve all had flings now and again.” At one point or another, they told me, there was certain pairings between all sort of characters, gender aside. And what does it matter? At the time it happened, there was no reason for it to be considered wrong.

And so, now, thanks to my characters who are probably giggling at my frustrations and embaressment, I can not get the image of Sara and Dianna kissing out of my head. Thanks a lot!

But I digress. “Feels Like Home” by Fort Minor is also a good Nightlife song, as is- ironically enough, seeing as it just started playing- “Understanding” by Evanescence. “Lose Control” I just figured out fits Lily’s book, so now it is banned from all my playlists. “Farther Away” was always good, I just happened to find a new version of it that fits the character better.

And, now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve devided up my playlists according to my mood: “Apassionata,” “Beat the Clock,” “Better to Have Loved and Lost,” “Caught in the Rain,” “Darkness, Consuming,” “Dead Before Dawn,” “Death Becomes Me,” “Going Dark,” “Just Plain Pissed” (can’t you guess?), “Keep Me Here,” “Live Only Once,” “Love at First Kiss,” “The Seduction,” “A Slave to Passion,” “Solemnly Serene,” “Trance” and “The End Must Come.”  Can you guess which one is which?


Elvish and Musings

It’s been a while since I last bothered to write in here, and since my last entry I’ve been busy setting up this new computer I got for Yule. Tis very awesome, and I’m liking it a lot. In the pictures I post here, you should be able to see the pretty ring I got on them.

Those pictures, by the way, are of the very cool elvish that was written all over my arms- by Lily. She’s very good at it. In fact, she’s at home right now- I think anyway- designing things so that she can do a henna tattoo for me and my mom tomorrow. It’s a big thing: I’m re-dyeing my hair, and redoing my nails, getting a henna tattoo and getting my eyebrows waxed. A whole primping deal, but it’ll be fun because Lily will be there, and my mom and her friends. It’s always fun. We listen to too loud music and talk about books and movies and our opinions on things.

I got a whole bunch of books for Christmas too, one of which I finished: Swoon by Nina Malkin. It was…interesting, to say the least.  Very nice and sweet and sexy and dark with a sad ending that makes your heart ache. Ah, and Sinclair Youngblood Powers, the boy with the devil-may-care attitude, set on vengeance, reborn without the burden of a soul- the last being a mistake that the main character, Candice- Dice, for short- will eventually regret. But have hope when you read it. It’s not all sex and drugs- it’s actually pretty cool, in a Tithe kind of way. It ended up lingering on my mind, so I guess that means it was worthy for me to have bothered with. But be prepared. It’s very unconventional, and a ride that goes so fast, when it ends it feels like you’re still moving. Read this, too, it explains it better then I can.

And now I’m almost finished with another, called Intertwined by Gena Showalter, which is written for those of a much lower reading level then myself, which makes it a bit juvenile, but damn is it good. give it another hundred pages worth of detail and I would be in love. The coolest book you ever did see plotwise…if your willing to put up with the writing.

So little has changed since the last time I ranted. I’ve figured out a way to get Werewolf Games into the Nightlife plotline, which makes it a lot more interesting, actually, and brings depth to a character that had otherwise been flat. It destroyed one of the vampire lineages, but it was worth it I think. Asilinn was too awesome a character to just forget about, the perfect mix of arrogance, nonchalance, and damaged goods. And now you get to meet Raymond. Twice. Woohoo!

What else…I have a short story finished for after the end of the Divine Wars series…one I really enjoyed writing, and that will make all fans miserable, if they’re anything like me. Then there’s Corrin, the incredibly horrible Corrin who’s story I promised would never get published, and now, intertwining together the story of Divine Wars and Nightlife kind of made it necessary.

The rest…what rest? I’ve got nothing to tell. My life is very boring. Peaceful even. I’m sitting with my door open, letting in a slight chill to my otherwise stifling hot room, listening to the background music of Aladdin and Connor dancing around the room to it. Caitlin fell asleep an hour ago. Tis a nice sound, the sound of the peacefulness. It kind of makes me miss having small kids in the house. It kind of makes me think about me having kids.

Alas, a story unfolds! My grandmother and I and the rest of the family all decided when the new year rolled in that everyone would write down what they and everyone else would be doing in ten years. Almost every one of them said that I would be married with a kid. I’m a little depressed by this, actually, because I’m quite doubtful it ever will happen, and doubtful I even want it to happen. All these women around me that bitch about being pregnant. I don’t want it. I’d rather take care of myself and look beautiful, thank you. Growing old is not on my to-do list. It might even be my biggest fear. Lucky for me, the women in my family age gracefully, even if they do crap to themselves at my age.

But still, I’m almost afraid to have kids. Most normal kids bitch and moan about things to their parents and those that don’t, like me, end up feeling like crap because they bottle it all up. I don’t know which I could possibly deal with in my children. I care to much about people, especially my family, to have to deal with raising a kid right.

Sigh. And now I’m monologuing. Nothing more to do now then to think about my future…I’ll be musing.