No one ever asks the right questions.

Posts tagged “divine wars

Konnor, Corrin, and Music

I wish I remembered my dreams, so that I could remember dreaming about my characters. Especially Corrin and Konnor. The two of them facinate me. They’re so unalike, but yet they stay by each others side like brothers. “A vengeful God and the merciful Lucifer” as put by Konnor.

I’ve just downloaded another couple of Evanescence songs I’ve never heard of, and I found “Anything For You”, as well as “Eternal”. Both of which are awesome to write to, though the former, is completely, consumingly Konnor. I had a bit of a freak out when I heard it the first time. Parcially because his love is so beautiful, so eternal, and so completely doomed that I feel sorry for what I put him through. Or rather, what Kane puts him through. But, then, no one knows about that, do they?

I’m especially upset that no one in the world knows who Konnor is- besides Lily, and she really doesn’t count because she doesn’t know the whole story either. But he is probably the most interesting, most devilish character I’ve written in a long time. I want so desperately to finish his story, but the only problem is that I know what happens at the end and the middle of the story, not the begining. And, if i’ve learned well from the botched attempt at outlining, I need to write a story all the way through in order to get it done. But, after reading about how Stephanie Meyer started Twilight in the middle, it makes me wonder if I should just start it that way. It’ll be a lot of work, but it might be worth it.

It just might see daylight afterall, no pun intended.

Rachel, though, is a problem, as is Draven. The two of them end up having a relationship, but I don’t know how it’ll play out. I’m sort of waiting for it to do that out on paper, and they’ll figure it out for themselves. Which makes my whole “start in the middle” idea go to hell. Ugh! They’re so annoying. Why can’t they just tell me what’s going to happen so I don’t have to live in all this suspense?

But no, my character’s like to suprise me. Fancy that, they like seeing me freak out almost as much as I like watching other people freak out. Lucky me.

Like, for instance, I was writing Logan’s chapter, discribing how he had saved Silas’s life when they were thirteen, and there was an undertone there that I could almost consider love- and it brought to mind the nature of friendship, and how it was only a downplayed version of love. So, I asked myself, has any of my Divine tried to take those friendships one step further, like…Xsen and Arazorn maybe?

The answer came back with a vauge sense of nonchalance. “Of course,” they said, “We’ve all had flings now and again.” At one point or another, they told me, there was certain pairings between all sort of characters, gender aside. And what does it matter? At the time it happened, there was no reason for it to be considered wrong.

And so, now, thanks to my characters who are probably giggling at my frustrations and embaressment, I can not get the image of Sara and Dianna kissing out of my head. Thanks a lot!

But I digress. “Feels Like Home” by Fort Minor is also a good Nightlife song, as is- ironically enough, seeing as it just started playing- “Understanding” by Evanescence. “Lose Control” I just figured out fits Lily’s book, so now it is banned from all my playlists. “Farther Away” was always good, I just happened to find a new version of it that fits the character better.

And, now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve devided up my playlists according to my mood: “Apassionata,” “Beat the Clock,” “Better to Have Loved and Lost,” “Caught in the Rain,” “Darkness, Consuming,” “Dead Before Dawn,” “Death Becomes Me,” “Going Dark,” “Just Plain Pissed” (can’t you guess?), “Keep Me Here,” “Live Only Once,” “Love at First Kiss,” “The Seduction,” “A Slave to Passion,” “Solemnly Serene,” “Trance” and “The End Must Come.”  Can you guess which one is which?


Elvish and Musings

It’s been a while since I last bothered to write in here, and since my last entry I’ve been busy setting up this new computer I got for Yule. Tis very awesome, and I’m liking it a lot. In the pictures I post here, you should be able to see the pretty ring I got on them.

Those pictures, by the way, are of the very cool elvish that was written all over my arms- by Lily. She’s very good at it. In fact, she’s at home right now- I think anyway- designing things so that she can do a henna tattoo for me and my mom tomorrow. It’s a big thing: I’m re-dyeing my hair, and redoing my nails, getting a henna tattoo and getting my eyebrows waxed. A whole primping deal, but it’ll be fun because Lily will be there, and my mom and her friends. It’s always fun. We listen to too loud music and talk about books and movies and our opinions on things.

I got a whole bunch of books for Christmas too, one of which I finished: Swoon by Nina Malkin. It was…interesting, to say the least.  Very nice and sweet and sexy and dark with a sad ending that makes your heart ache. Ah, and Sinclair Youngblood Powers, the boy with the devil-may-care attitude, set on vengeance, reborn without the burden of a soul- the last being a mistake that the main character, Candice- Dice, for short- will eventually regret. But have hope when you read it. It’s not all sex and drugs- it’s actually pretty cool, in a Tithe kind of way. It ended up lingering on my mind, so I guess that means it was worthy for me to have bothered with. But be prepared. It’s very unconventional, and a ride that goes so fast, when it ends it feels like you’re still moving. Read this, too, it explains it better then I can.

And now I’m almost finished with another, called Intertwined by Gena Showalter, which is written for those of a much lower reading level then myself, which makes it a bit juvenile, but damn is it good. give it another hundred pages worth of detail and I would be in love. The coolest book you ever did see plotwise…if your willing to put up with the writing.

So little has changed since the last time I ranted. I’ve figured out a way to get Werewolf Games into the Nightlife plotline, which makes it a lot more interesting, actually, and brings depth to a character that had otherwise been flat. It destroyed one of the vampire lineages, but it was worth it I think. Asilinn was too awesome a character to just forget about, the perfect mix of arrogance, nonchalance, and damaged goods. And now you get to meet Raymond. Twice. Woohoo!

What else…I have a short story finished for after the end of the Divine Wars series…one I really enjoyed writing, and that will make all fans miserable, if they’re anything like me. Then there’s Corrin, the incredibly horrible Corrin who’s story I promised would never get published, and now, intertwining together the story of Divine Wars and Nightlife kind of made it necessary.

The rest…what rest? I’ve got nothing to tell. My life is very boring. Peaceful even. I’m sitting with my door open, letting in a slight chill to my otherwise stifling hot room, listening to the background music of Aladdin and Connor dancing around the room to it. Caitlin fell asleep an hour ago. Tis a nice sound, the sound of the peacefulness. It kind of makes me miss having small kids in the house. It kind of makes me think about me having kids.

Alas, a story unfolds! My grandmother and I and the rest of the family all decided when the new year rolled in that everyone would write down what they and everyone else would be doing in ten years. Almost every one of them said that I would be married with a kid. I’m a little depressed by this, actually, because I’m quite doubtful it ever will happen, and doubtful I even want it to happen. All these women around me that bitch about being pregnant. I don’t want it. I’d rather take care of myself and look beautiful, thank you. Growing old is not on my to-do list. It might even be my biggest fear. Lucky for me, the women in my family age gracefully, even if they do crap to themselves at my age.

But still, I’m almost afraid to have kids. Most normal kids bitch and moan about things to their parents and those that don’t, like me, end up feeling like crap because they bottle it all up. I don’t know which I could possibly deal with in my children. I care to much about people, especially my family, to have to deal with raising a kid right.

Sigh. And now I’m monologuing. Nothing more to do now then to think about my future…I’ll be musing.


Characterization

Midterms are over- and aren’t at the same time, I had a snow day today even though I was only going to do my Science Midterm and then go home- and tomorrow I have no school. So here I am, exhausted, and writing on here yet again, and doubting, yet again, whether or not it should be left up here. Then again, I’m forced to admit that it’s a nice way to keep everything organized not to mention that it’s a nice way to procrastinate. But before I came on here, I was reading.

Oh. My. God. Sometimes reading makes me feel so inferior to these amazing books I read. Robert Jordan, Terry Goodkind, David Eddings & Leigh Eddings [The Redemption of Althalus]… They’re all spectacularly above me. They’re the kind of people I only get the privilege of seeing their shoes, and maybe their coat tail. I cannot imagine anyone being moved by my writing in the way that I’m moved by them. It sometimes depresses me. Anyway, that’s not what I was getting at. These books are absolutely spectacular. The Redemption of Althalus and the Sword of Truth Series are both on my top five, and Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time is probably on my top twenty. I’d definitely recommend them.

Once again, I’m getting off track. Books like these get me thinking. Like, for instance, the Sword of Truth Series gets me thinking about human nature and the rules of it. For those that don’t know them, those rules are here. I empathize with the characters more so than I so with my own (and that’s pretty sad, when you think about it). They become real people to me. I hate them and I love them, I wince when they do something stupid and I cheer them on when they’re going in the right direction. It’s a sad world indeed when I’m not really getting my character’s to be as real to me as the characters of other writers.

Let me attempt to explain something here. I search through the websites of some of my favorite authors looking for the faintest hint of a tip for my own way of writing, I’ll take advice where I can get it (everyone is way to nice to me- I never get the criticism that I know that my writing needs). On Stephanie Meyer’s website, she frequently mentions that the character’s she’s created talk to her in her head as she writes and almost dictate the story to her. I’m a bit of a control freak, so I can’t give over that kind of control, but it only makes sense that the personalities that you create should be nearly as real as you are. So, whenever I get the opportunity- like in the nice quite time that after my midterms where I only have myself for company- I hold long conversations with the people I’ve created. Of course, some of them I’m kind of afraid to talk to right now, they don’t come into the plot until later and they freak out everyone else in the story, but the main characters I talk to all the time. Sadly enough, though, the ending is not exactly finished, and the parts that I have finished aren’t exactly closed off: I left a big enough opening so that when I’m done I can continue it on if I can’t let go of them. The characters- now that they’re slowly coming into being for me- resent some of the endings I’ve come up with for them. I challenge all of the relationships, create new ones and mess with people’s heads (especially in the third book, everything goes to hell in that one). Mat, Dianna, and Logan are the ones I’m fleshing out right now, and talking with the most. Sara I’m warily thinking about talking to, along with Selene. Silas I have pretty much down already, so I’m not going to do that to him (I screw with his life a lot more than the rest, and I don’t think that he’d like to answer my questions anyway). Logan is trying to get on my good side right now, because he really really doesn’t want me to write the mythical fourth book. I screw him over more than probably anyone can get screwed over in that one. He dislikes me for that.

In any case, the previous paragraph is an explanation if I mention “Logan says” or “Dianna says” or “Selene is mad at me”, enough so that you won’t be confused by it.


Updating

I’ve been writing a little bit, to my intense relief, but haven’t really gotten an immense amount of work done. So I’ve been working on how to get from point A to point B (otherwise known as the plot) in the series, and I’ve been updating the website a bit. I changed my header, which I really like right now, as well as my pen name again. I’ve counted, this is the 5th time I’ve done so. It was first Sadde Hawke, then once I realized how much that sounded like Sadie Hawkins, I changed it to Sadde Raven, then to Sadde Morgan, after I started freaking out about the name Morgan. Then I got into Irish myths, and Morrigan Black was born. I had already had Maureen Shade set aside as something I could change my current birth name too, when I’m older and I’ve thought more about it. So, I figured, why should the two stay separate? I was debating on whether or not to loose the Morrigan with my pen name, and I was struggling to find a suitable last name for the second name. Then it clicked, and now I love it.

Watch. It two weeks I’ll change it to something else.

Besides that, I’ve been thinking about starting up the 2nd book of Divine Wars for about the twentieth time this month (which is saying something, because it’s the only the 2nd of the month). I have mentioned in the past that it’s better then the first one? Because I’m saying it again: the second Devine Wars is much much better than the first, but I have to say the first is improving, as is my writing skills. I think the Social Studies teacher at my school will be a little afraid of the complex anologies and vocabulary I put into my latest paper, but I guess that’s what gets you into a good college.


Slow Work…

I’ve decided, though I’ve been working as much as I can lately on Devine, From the Dark I think I’ll start working more on Retribution then the former. But then again, I should probably finish book 1 before I move on to 2… It’s slow work writing a book.

Well, beside the fact that I have no desire to write right this second, I still have homework to do. Ugh. Back to the books: the confusing, dry ones, not the good ones.


Back from the dead (so to speak)

Haha! And you thought I was dead, didn’t you? Or, if you’re like me, you could be thinking. “She thinks people won’t read this think, just is letting it die…”. Well I thought about it. A lot. I actually decided I was for a while, but then I went on some other writer girl’s blog and thought: “Huh. This is kind of cool. Weird, but cool. I’ve got to get me one of these!”

And then I recalled: Huh, I do have one of these. And came back on here. So, I’m bored out of my mind to the point of writing about by new ideas (and my revamped old ones) on here for you people to look at.

The one I’m working on now, Divine, From the Dark (otherwise known as Stripped of Darkness. I changed the title.) has so much that needs to be done, I don’t know where to start on it. So I’ve been trying to work on Divine, Retribution (otherwise known as Reclusive, the sequel. I changed that title too.) And that one is a lot harder when you really don’t know what’s going to happen in the first one, so that going quite sluggishly.

And Moonlight Reign (no title change there), is going well, much better than the other, but I’ve decided to reconstruct the first…fifty pages or so, which leads me to groan with the very thought of writing it. (Too bad, because I really want to sometimes.)

And so, with two on standby, it leaves only the Werewolf Games (the other one got scrapped pretty quickly). And the Werewolf Games is a very long story. I had an idea for a vampire book a long long time ago, but put it on standby until I got older (so I don’t screw it up, because I will if I write it now) that I called Origin. Both books, I found, could quite easily fit together. So, I decided to put them together, along with another vampire book I just thought up.

So, now, I have three series’. Divine Wars, Moonlight, and Nightlife (in order) and I’m happy with them all. Two of which, can be adapted with either new characters or old ones. Nightlife has all different main characters, but the side characters are simply old main characters. For instance, Connor, the king of the vampires (so to speak, it’s more complicated than that) is the main character in Origin, yet in Werewolf Games and The Dead Life, he’s a great side character that comes up a lot. Just like the main character, Nikolai, in The Dead Life, ended up being in The Werewolf Games and part of Origin. But in Moonlight you have completely different characters, but in the same world. Except in one, that’s basically a sequel to Moonlight Reign, picking up where the character left off twenty years earlier. But anyway, I ramble, and have taken up enough of you peoples’ time already.


Logos, Pictures and other colorful subjects

Okay. I haven’t been on in god knows how long but I have an excuse (no I don’t, but just smile and pretend I know what I’m talking about.) and lots of rants. First off, I worked on a new cover for my books. Just an idea then I’ve been working on. Nothing to serious. Might blend it into the sequel for Werewolf Games though.

Not titled. I thank all of the wonderful people at photobucket for allowing a maniac like me on the website to make these things for. And plus I have absolutely no idea where I found these (I don’t write the names down) and even if I did, I know photoshop well enough to know that I’ll never know who to thank anyway. So, if you drew one of these- whoever you are- I thank you. The girl up on the top laying backwards, she reminds me of the girl in the top left (blurry I know, but best I can do) and so, they are supposed to be the same person. Kind of. But for all normal purposes, yes, it’s the same girl. The one on the bottom left in the water is Morrigan. I stick her there after I realized that the characters could totally fit into the sequel I’m planning. (And in case you didn’t know, Morrigan was the main character in The Werewolf Games) The punk girl in the bottom right hand corner, her name is Rymona and to put it lightly she’s a bitch. But she’s a cool bitch in any case. (Happens to be my favorite character actually) The one next to her in the long dress is another girl named Valerie (But that’s not what people call her, her nickname’s Reed), and the one laying on the stars is Raven. The cool chick. The heroine (Funny how the main character isn’t the heroine.) and the guy in the upper left, his name is Chase. Or was. Or maybe still is. I haven’t decided yet. It’s up for debate.

Anyway, I was oober bored on Easter so I sat there and made this. And it’s not one of my best one’s either. No comparison to Stripped of Darkness:

Or Fable:

Or Reclusive (Which honestly needs to get editied):

Or even the first Moonlight Reign (Back when it was children of Reno):

Which also needs editing, but I guess that’s life. And keep in mind that Stripped of Darkness (Reclusive is it’s sequel) was the first one I did, while Moonlight Reign was the second. And Fable being the latest before throwing together the top one.Speaking of pictures I need to go and find some new pictures of anime characters. I’m percariously close to using the same characters more than once. (I probably already did on some of the other ones too) I sure spend enough time there, looking for more to add to my one million icons collection (I sort them into the different series’ they apply too. No dissing, Lily does it too.) Anything really to avoid writing more. I’ve hit a dead end again, and I want to work on Reclusive again like I’m supposed to be doing. And… Jeez, did I really do that bad a job of covering up Caleb’s shirt? [stares in shock] ouch. Thank god I’m not using that one anymore. Where is that anyway? I’ll have to go search my computer again… Anyway, you’ve gotten your update and I don’t feel guilty anymore. I’d better go work on elipsis (more on that later) and I’ll get back to being an idiot later.