No one ever asks the right questions.

Posts tagged “konnor

Konnor, Corrin, and Music

I wish I remembered my dreams, so that I could remember dreaming about my characters. Especially Corrin and Konnor. The two of them facinate me. They’re so unalike, but yet they stay by each others side like brothers. “A vengeful God and the merciful Lucifer” as put by Konnor.

I’ve just downloaded another couple of Evanescence songs I’ve never heard of, and I found “Anything For You”, as well as “Eternal”. Both of which are awesome to write to, though the former, is completely, consumingly Konnor. I had a bit of a freak out when I heard it the first time. Parcially because his love is so beautiful, so eternal, and so completely doomed that I feel sorry for what I put him through. Or rather, what Kane puts him through. But, then, no one knows about that, do they?

I’m especially upset that no one in the world knows who Konnor is- besides Lily, and she really doesn’t count because she doesn’t know the whole story either. But he is probably the most interesting, most devilish character I’ve written in a long time. I want so desperately to finish his story, but the only problem is that I know what happens at the end and the middle of the story, not the begining. And, if i’ve learned well from the botched attempt at outlining, I need to write a story all the way through in order to get it done. But, after reading about how Stephanie Meyer started Twilight in the middle, it makes me wonder if I should just start it that way. It’ll be a lot of work, but it might be worth it.

It just might see daylight afterall, no pun intended.

Rachel, though, is a problem, as is Draven. The two of them end up having a relationship, but I don’t know how it’ll play out. I’m sort of waiting for it to do that out on paper, and they’ll figure it out for themselves. Which makes my whole “start in the middle” idea go to hell. Ugh! They’re so annoying. Why can’t they just tell me what’s going to happen so I don’t have to live in all this suspense?

But no, my character’s like to suprise me. Fancy that, they like seeing me freak out almost as much as I like watching other people freak out. Lucky me.

Like, for instance, I was writing Logan’s chapter, discribing how he had saved Silas’s life when they were thirteen, and there was an undertone there that I could almost consider love- and it brought to mind the nature of friendship, and how it was only a downplayed version of love. So, I asked myself, has any of my Divine tried to take those friendships one step further, like…Xsen and Arazorn maybe?

The answer came back with a vauge sense of nonchalance. “Of course,” they said, “We’ve all had flings now and again.” At one point or another, they told me, there was certain pairings between all sort of characters, gender aside. And what does it matter? At the time it happened, there was no reason for it to be considered wrong.

And so, now, thanks to my characters who are probably giggling at my frustrations and embaressment, I can not get the image of Sara and Dianna kissing out of my head. Thanks a lot!

But I digress. “Feels Like Home” by Fort Minor is also a good Nightlife song, as is- ironically enough, seeing as it just started playing- “Understanding” by Evanescence. “Lose Control” I just figured out fits Lily’s book, so now it is banned from all my playlists. “Farther Away” was always good, I just happened to find a new version of it that fits the character better.

And, now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve devided up my playlists according to my mood: “Apassionata,” “Beat the Clock,” “Better to Have Loved and Lost,” “Caught in the Rain,” “Darkness, Consuming,” “Dead Before Dawn,” “Death Becomes Me,” “Going Dark,” “Just Plain Pissed” (can’t you guess?), “Keep Me Here,” “Live Only Once,” “Love at First Kiss,” “The Seduction,” “A Slave to Passion,” “Solemnly Serene,” “Trance” and “The End Must Come.”  Can you guess which one is which?


Happy Samhain! [And a Nightlife Rant…]

…or Halloween, if you don’t know what Samhain is. Go look it up. My mother corrected my pronunciation yesterday, I had thought that it was pronounced how it was spelled (Sam-hay/n), but really it’s supposed to sound like (Sow-an) because the original spelling looked like “Sauin”. I love the ancient Celts, as you can obviously tell. And, if it’s less obvious, I’m going a little crazy lately. It might just be that Samhain was yesterday, and I’m all jittery from the candy and the fact that I’ve written close to twenty pages this weekend, which tops all the writing I’ve done this year. (Unfortunately not for NaNoReMo, which I had forgotten all about until just this second, and I don’t know what I could possibly write for it. At this rate I’m not going to do it after all.) It’s not just the quantity of my writing that surprises me, but what the writing’s about. Because, you see, when I began writing about vampires, I promised myself to leave out all the inappropriate stuff, let it be there, but be implied, so that I won’t have to deal with it. Sadly enough, though, all that stuff I didn’t want to write about has become an intricate part of the storyline. My vampires have become, essentially, the place where I write about the things I don’t usually have the courage to write about in my other things. A dumping ground for my hormones.

To go along with this insanity, I’ve been listening to the music I’ve always promised myself I would stay away from. On my current playlist, I have Akon [Right Now and Sexy Bitch], Boys Like Girls [Love Drunk], Cherish [Killa], Cascada [Evacuate the Dancefloor], Katy Perry [I Kissed a Girl], Muse [Undisclosed Desires and Uprising], Britney Spears [Shattered Glass, Circus, 3, and If You Seek Amy], Beyonce [Sweet Dreams], and Jason Derulo [Whatcha Say]. All of which scares the hell out of me, because of the mood it gets me in. I write best when I’m in a mood that fits what I’m writing, and when your writing sex scenes, then what mood do you have to be in?

Alright, that’s a bit of a lie. I wrote three pages about two people talking after such shenanigans took place, and twenty-five or so about one of the most dreaded vampires in existence kind of falling for a boy he finds in the dungeons. I’m struggling to keep it as a friendship, but I’m not sure Cian will let me. He’s been very forceful with how the story is going so far. In fact, he’s one of the most stubborn characters I’ve ever had the trouble of talking to. So much so is that I’m reluctant to even take credit for what I just wrote, he basically dictated it all to me. Even with Konnor I have to drag the plot of them, but Cian gives it to me freely. I kind of wonder why, but after rereading what I just wrote about him, it’s not very often that he understands his own motives to do anything. I feel kind of sad that those thirty some-odd pages won’t get to see daylight, because if I fixed it properly, I could quite easily change that into a book. It was in 1968 though, so it might be a little difficult for me to understand a certain point I kind of glossed over in the thing I just wrote.

Anyway, I move onward. I haven’t written much that hasn’t involved vampires lately, and that doesn’t help you, who knows very little about my Nightlife series I felt kind of sad about that, too. In all my books, I’m always overwhelmed at all the crap I have to work at, to research, to figure out, but in Nightlife most of the important things are figured out, so the rest is easy. I love how it turned out, and how if someone points to a name on the vampire family tree, it’s very likely I can tell you the circumstances of how they died, who they were and how they interact in the vampire world. Certain lines I can explain quite well, while others are still a mystery to me. There are still plenty of blank spots on that list, and it will have easily over 1000 names when I’m done. I also enjoy how the characters talk to me much easier in that series. Like, for instance, the boy that Cian falls for’s name is Aaron, and the reason he was captured is because he went into a vampire club intending to slaughter them all. The reason, I found, he wanted to do that was because a family member had been slaughtered by a vampire. But I was at a loss for a little while, because he didn’t seem like the type to get angry at just that. It needed to be huge. So I thought about it some more, and it seemed only natural that his brother was an addict, and that brother got turned and killed another brother. That’s why Aaron was pissed. I went to go look for him on the family tree, or find a place for him, and there was Brigitte, a girl from 1963 who falls in love with a side character from Konnor’s story, who was turned because a friend of hers introduced her to Ramses who took a liking to her. It seemed only natural that that friend was Aaron’s brother. It fit perfectly, because one of the other girls that Ramses turned had a nice gap in those that she turned that fit him in nicely. and made it so that this story had a nice relevancy to the other stories in Nightlife, so, if I chose, I could easily find an excuse to stick it in there.

To make an already long story shorter, it’s getting very fun, because my characters are becoming more and more real, and it helped me figure out that the only way that I, personally, am able to develop characters is to write their backstories, from beginning to end, and see what it reveals. Because one of my favorite things to do is to figure out how the vampires on my family tree were turned, this is a very nice and easy way for me to make that world real.

Lily and I asked each other which of our books we would go into, given the opportunity. I told her that it was easily Nightlife, because of what I know about the characters. I would go straight to Stalking Shadow, the NYC club, and just start talking to them. I know so much about them that I could probably get away with a lot of things, and almost certainly get turned. And, that, I think, would be the most fun out of everything, don’t you think?


Thoughts

I was thinking a few minutes ago about my subconscious. But then again, that wasn’t really what I was thinking about. It startedwhen I was reading LJ Smith’s FAQ page on her website, and reading about what she thinks is magic and what an aspiring writer should do, and- more importantly- about which character it was that she liked writing the most. And that got me thinking (which is never a good idea, it never ends once it starts) exactly which characters I liked writing the most (the answer is Arazorn the Dark, by the way, along with Zachariah and Vilaneis), and as I was skimming through, that thought in my head, I wandered into the message “keep a list of story ideas”. So, going through my folders and haphazard organizational system, intending to write down a short blurb about this new idea I’ve been working on, when I realized I had already done it, and put it in its own folder. So, sitting back for a few seconds and looking at the many different ideas under Nightlife (not including the rather large folder titled “Origin and Backstories”), I suddenly remember the dream I had had a very long time ago that I haven’t yet forgotten.

I’ve told Lily about this dream once (twice actually, because she forgot the first time), so she knows what I’m talking about already, but for those who don’t I’ll explain it in short. From what I remember, it took place in a large dark room with cobwebs and spiders- a large bush of thorns in the center. Konnor was there, with Rachel at his arm, surrounded by what I presumed to be a whole bunch of vampires. They certainly had the vibe. It was quiet and dark- underground maybe. The telltale glass windows up above held hundreds more vampires and other damnable creatures watching down on the spectacle. It felt very serious, and very churchlike- as if speaking would be considered sacrilege. I might have been present, but I’m not sure. It kept switching back and forth from third person to first, as my dreams and waking mind often does. Konnor, in all of his arrogant glory, looks to the door and quotes softly to himself. “And he shall be born in the fiery thorns.” He glanced back to the bush before saying briskly. “Where is Xsen?”

Whoa. My mental self recoiled at the very thought. Let me explain, if you don’t understand. My stories partake in completely different worlds, different places and different times. There had been absolutely no connection between the worlds before this dream. Whenever I had ever dreamed of my characters, it had been with characters of the same book. I make sure that they stay separate in my mind. It’s too confusing otherwise. But in this dream, Konnor, Rachel and all of the vampires and werewolves were watching and waiting for something. No, someone. Xsen. From Divine Wars, a completely different idea.

But Konnor knew of him, obviously, and was waiting for him.

Nikolai- or someone, but I felt that it was supposed to be Nikolai- was pulled through the door, struggling against the hold of two large vampires, who, in retrospect, just might be Renatus and Remus. Which makes me quite happy that they took a little stop into my dreams. Yay! Anyway, he was dragged, kicking and struggling, into the thorn bush and pushed into it.

In seconds, his body is covered with the rapidly grown plants, encased. I can see his claustrophobia, and he starts breathing in quick.

Xsen comes in then, in the flourish that is usually known more for Zemnea, (what can I say, I have a think for the theatrics) three people behind him that I assume to be some sort of servants, though why Xsen would want them I wouldn’t guess. This was not my beloved Logan though, with the silvery locks of moonlight and deep pensive green eyes. No, this is Geovanni- deep fire-red hair, tattoos down his neck, red eyes alight with the flame he never bothered to learn to quench. (For those that don’t know, I entertained the thought of Logan dying and having another lifetime over the course of the series- who would be Geovanni. I, personally, loved the idea of Geovanni, because he was the exact opposite of Logan in every way, and thus exactly what I loved about him coming to the surface. The idea crashed and burned for the Divine Wars, but a mythical fourth book is brewing on the edges of my brain, you may yet get to see him) Geovanni turned to face Konnor, looking like his younger brother. He said something along the lines of “I said I would come, didn’t I?” in his contemptuous voice.

Konnor crossed his arms. “You’d better do it now, then.”

And with one glance from Xsen, the entire brush erupts into a column of burn flame which dances in Konnor’s eyes as he watches.

And then I woke up.

It was a pretty awesome dream, all and all. But it made me realize that while my conscious brain tries very hard to keep the ideas separate, my subconscious self doesn’t even bother. In fact, it found a nice was to meld them together. Since then, I’ve had a few more containing characters from different books interacting together. And, I have to say, it has some very interesting relationships. If not for that dream, how could I have known Psychos hated promiscuous women, or that Konnor thought that Xsen was stuck up? How could I have know that Rose and Thunder would have chemistry, or that Jason wouldn’t be able to keep his temper for five minutes in the same room as Arazorn the Dark? Since then, I’ve had them interact in my mind together, and learned some pretty interesting things. Maybe one day, when they invent a machine to put thoughts into pictures like I really want them too. But until then, I guess you’re going to just have to look at it yourself.

EDIT, five hours later: I’ve recently become addicted to music from “the Red Violin”, in order to have something in the background similiar to that of a character in a short story. It’s turning out to be really freaking creepy. Which probably you knew by hearing about the background music, huh? Go look up the premise of that movie if you don’t know. Then tell me I’m not crazy.