No one ever asks the right questions.

Posts tagged “music

Ten Minutes Later…

Okay, I know I just was ranting about how the song “Anything For You” was completely Konnor, and it made me freak out. Well I was wrong. It’s from Nightlife. But it’s not his. Oh, god, it’s not his!

It’s Anthony’s. Which makes me want to cry, because the song is suddenly so different with it being his. I can’t express it now. I might just have to go sob in a corner. Poor, poor, Anthony. What the hell did I do to that poor boy? It’s almost criminal how much I hurt him.

He has a happy ending though, so I can have a little bit of solice in that. Now, excuse me, while I go and write.


Konnor, Corrin, and Music

I wish I remembered my dreams, so that I could remember dreaming about my characters. Especially Corrin and Konnor. The two of them facinate me. They’re so unalike, but yet they stay by each others side like brothers. “A vengeful God and the merciful Lucifer” as put by Konnor.

I’ve just downloaded another couple of Evanescence songs I’ve never heard of, and I found “Anything For You”, as well as “Eternal”. Both of which are awesome to write to, though the former, is completely, consumingly Konnor. I had a bit of a freak out when I heard it the first time. Parcially because his love is so beautiful, so eternal, and so completely doomed that I feel sorry for what I put him through. Or rather, what Kane puts him through. But, then, no one knows about that, do they?

I’m especially upset that no one in the world knows who Konnor is- besides Lily, and she really doesn’t count because she doesn’t know the whole story either. But he is probably the most interesting, most devilish character I’ve written in a long time. I want so desperately to finish his story, but the only problem is that I know what happens at the end and the middle of the story, not the begining. And, if i’ve learned well from the botched attempt at outlining, I need to write a story all the way through in order to get it done. But, after reading about how Stephanie Meyer started Twilight in the middle, it makes me wonder if I should just start it that way. It’ll be a lot of work, but it might be worth it.

It just might see daylight afterall, no pun intended.

Rachel, though, is a problem, as is Draven. The two of them end up having a relationship, but I don’t know how it’ll play out. I’m sort of waiting for it to do that out on paper, and they’ll figure it out for themselves. Which makes my whole “start in the middle” idea go to hell. Ugh! They’re so annoying. Why can’t they just tell me what’s going to happen so I don’t have to live in all this suspense?

But no, my character’s like to suprise me. Fancy that, they like seeing me freak out almost as much as I like watching other people freak out. Lucky me.

Like, for instance, I was writing Logan’s chapter, discribing how he had saved Silas’s life when they were thirteen, and there was an undertone there that I could almost consider love- and it brought to mind the nature of friendship, and how it was only a downplayed version of love. So, I asked myself, has any of my Divine tried to take those friendships one step further, like…Xsen and Arazorn maybe?

The answer came back with a vauge sense of nonchalance. “Of course,” they said, “We’ve all had flings now and again.” At one point or another, they told me, there was certain pairings between all sort of characters, gender aside. And what does it matter? At the time it happened, there was no reason for it to be considered wrong.

And so, now, thanks to my characters who are probably giggling at my frustrations and embaressment, I can not get the image of Sara and Dianna kissing out of my head. Thanks a lot!

But I digress. “Feels Like Home” by Fort Minor is also a good Nightlife song, as is- ironically enough, seeing as it just started playing- “Understanding” by Evanescence. “Lose Control” I just figured out fits Lily’s book, so now it is banned from all my playlists. “Farther Away” was always good, I just happened to find a new version of it that fits the character better.

And, now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve devided up my playlists according to my mood: “Apassionata,” “Beat the Clock,” “Better to Have Loved and Lost,” “Caught in the Rain,” “Darkness, Consuming,” “Dead Before Dawn,” “Death Becomes Me,” “Going Dark,” “Just Plain Pissed” (can’t you guess?), “Keep Me Here,” “Live Only Once,” “Love at First Kiss,” “The Seduction,” “A Slave to Passion,” “Solemnly Serene,” “Trance” and “The End Must Come.”  Can you guess which one is which?


Happy Samhain! [And a Nightlife Rant…]

…or Halloween, if you don’t know what Samhain is. Go look it up. My mother corrected my pronunciation yesterday, I had thought that it was pronounced how it was spelled (Sam-hay/n), but really it’s supposed to sound like (Sow-an) because the original spelling looked like “Sauin”. I love the ancient Celts, as you can obviously tell. And, if it’s less obvious, I’m going a little crazy lately. It might just be that Samhain was yesterday, and I’m all jittery from the candy and the fact that I’ve written close to twenty pages this weekend, which tops all the writing I’ve done this year. (Unfortunately not for NaNoReMo, which I had forgotten all about until just this second, and I don’t know what I could possibly write for it. At this rate I’m not going to do it after all.) It’s not just the quantity of my writing that surprises me, but what the writing’s about. Because, you see, when I began writing about vampires, I promised myself to leave out all the inappropriate stuff, let it be there, but be implied, so that I won’t have to deal with it. Sadly enough, though, all that stuff I didn’t want to write about has become an intricate part of the storyline. My vampires have become, essentially, the place where I write about the things I don’t usually have the courage to write about in my other things. A dumping ground for my hormones.

To go along with this insanity, I’ve been listening to the music I’ve always promised myself I would stay away from. On my current playlist, I have Akon [Right Now and Sexy Bitch], Boys Like Girls [Love Drunk], Cherish [Killa], Cascada [Evacuate the Dancefloor], Katy Perry [I Kissed a Girl], Muse [Undisclosed Desires and Uprising], Britney Spears [Shattered Glass, Circus, 3, and If You Seek Amy], Beyonce [Sweet Dreams], and Jason Derulo [Whatcha Say]. All of which scares the hell out of me, because of the mood it gets me in. I write best when I’m in a mood that fits what I’m writing, and when your writing sex scenes, then what mood do you have to be in?

Alright, that’s a bit of a lie. I wrote three pages about two people talking after such shenanigans took place, and twenty-five or so about one of the most dreaded vampires in existence kind of falling for a boy he finds in the dungeons. I’m struggling to keep it as a friendship, but I’m not sure Cian will let me. He’s been very forceful with how the story is going so far. In fact, he’s one of the most stubborn characters I’ve ever had the trouble of talking to. So much so is that I’m reluctant to even take credit for what I just wrote, he basically dictated it all to me. Even with Konnor I have to drag the plot of them, but Cian gives it to me freely. I kind of wonder why, but after rereading what I just wrote about him, it’s not very often that he understands his own motives to do anything. I feel kind of sad that those thirty some-odd pages won’t get to see daylight, because if I fixed it properly, I could quite easily change that into a book. It was in 1968 though, so it might be a little difficult for me to understand a certain point I kind of glossed over in the thing I just wrote.

Anyway, I move onward. I haven’t written much that hasn’t involved vampires lately, and that doesn’t help you, who knows very little about my Nightlife series I felt kind of sad about that, too. In all my books, I’m always overwhelmed at all the crap I have to work at, to research, to figure out, but in Nightlife most of the important things are figured out, so the rest is easy. I love how it turned out, and how if someone points to a name on the vampire family tree, it’s very likely I can tell you the circumstances of how they died, who they were and how they interact in the vampire world. Certain lines I can explain quite well, while others are still a mystery to me. There are still plenty of blank spots on that list, and it will have easily over 1000 names when I’m done. I also enjoy how the characters talk to me much easier in that series. Like, for instance, the boy that Cian falls for’s name is Aaron, and the reason he was captured is because he went into a vampire club intending to slaughter them all. The reason, I found, he wanted to do that was because a family member had been slaughtered by a vampire. But I was at a loss for a little while, because he didn’t seem like the type to get angry at just that. It needed to be huge. So I thought about it some more, and it seemed only natural that his brother was an addict, and that brother got turned and killed another brother. That’s why Aaron was pissed. I went to go look for him on the family tree, or find a place for him, and there was Brigitte, a girl from 1963 who falls in love with a side character from Konnor’s story, who was turned because a friend of hers introduced her to Ramses who took a liking to her. It seemed only natural that that friend was Aaron’s brother. It fit perfectly, because one of the other girls that Ramses turned had a nice gap in those that she turned that fit him in nicely. and made it so that this story had a nice relevancy to the other stories in Nightlife, so, if I chose, I could easily find an excuse to stick it in there.

To make an already long story shorter, it’s getting very fun, because my characters are becoming more and more real, and it helped me figure out that the only way that I, personally, am able to develop characters is to write their backstories, from beginning to end, and see what it reveals. Because one of my favorite things to do is to figure out how the vampires on my family tree were turned, this is a very nice and easy way for me to make that world real.

Lily and I asked each other which of our books we would go into, given the opportunity. I told her that it was easily Nightlife, because of what I know about the characters. I would go straight to Stalking Shadow, the NYC club, and just start talking to them. I know so much about them that I could probably get away with a lot of things, and almost certainly get turned. And, that, I think, would be the most fun out of everything, don’t you think?


Sick and Bored

I’m sick again. And bored. (Hense the title, right?) Of course, a cold isn’t exactly the bubonic plague, so I wouldn’t put me under quarentine. Two things in perticular that bring me back here: the new short story I’ve posted, with an explaination of how it came about at the begining.

The second being the new song I’ve fallen in love with: “The Clincher” by Chevelle. It works with apsolutely none of my characters (except maybe Rose if you want to stretch things) which is nice because that doesn’t happen very often. So I’m probably end up playing it to death, along with “Perfect Enemy” by T.a.T.u, another one that fits into none of my books. However, “Perfect Enemy” I heard in a cool Kingdom Hearts CoM video on youtube. I don’t remember what it was called, except that it involved Namine falling for Marluxia. Which is weird, in a way…

Chevelle is turning out to be my new favorite band as of late. “The Red” is insanely cool, because it’s so thouroughly Draven, from one of my Nightlife stories. I like that one, and I’m slowly waning through the rest to see which ones I like best.

Another song to character update: “Heir of a Dying Day” by Lacuna Coil is going to be added to the music list, as is “The Red” and “Dead Memories” by Slipknot, who I don’t usually listen to.

Quick thing to add before I say farewell, I’ve change the title from Dancing Shadows (again, yes I realize) to Black Flame, which fits better than any of the others have before. So I’m hoping this one will day the same for at least a little longer. Fire Eyes in the Dark is going back to Moonlight Reign. (dispite my previous post, I know).

One last thing, I promise: Beth Fantaskey’s Jessica’s Guide to Dating on the Dark Side, Allison van Diepen’s Raven and, at my mother’s sugestion, Dean Koontz’s Odd Thomas were great books, not exactly my favorite, because I usually don’t read about Dragomir princesses, break-dancing immortals, and short order cooks that can see ghosts  (or do I now that I think about it?), but good books nonetheless. Go check them out!


Hello Again

Hello, again. I’m back from devotedly re-writing From the Dark and frameworking the second book. And in the process of doing so I started to reconsider their names again. I, as a reader, like the covers and titles of books to draw me in and get me interested, and am quite reluctant to chose something with either a stupid title or cover (“Thirsty”  being a good example of both, for instance, but I haven’t read it so I wouldn’t know if the process is working or not). So I’m fiddling with the title almost as much as the actual guts of the project. Speaking of said guts, I’ve been procrastinating the actually re-writing as much as I can. I’ve been busying myself by doing other things, like downloading a good copy of Queen of the Damned, sorting icons, making a new cover, organizing my character bios, finding quotes for each, etc. I even sorting my music into different playlists based on mood. All of my music. So, basically doing nothing that really needs to be done.

My mom would certainly be mad at me for knowing exactly how little work I’m doing.

I’ve been really trying though, and that’s something. I have random spurts of inspiration where I go and write as much as I can as quickly as I can get it down (and usually it’s pretty good stuff, too). Then, when I have no more willpower to do that, I usually go and try to get the setting as detailed as I can manage. Thank god for FARP, or else I’d be totally screwed. Then, if I really want to force inspiration out of myself, I listen to my nice new “Videos” playlist, which has all of the songs I’ve mentally made into music videos since I’ve started writing. That’s been helping a little bit.

We had a snowday today, thank god, so now I can get to writing. Why am I on here, you ask? Probably because I’m subconsciously procrastinating. And I’ve got to do the homework I didn’t do yesterday… At this rate, everyone will be lucky to see my book this year.


The search for an MP3 Player…

My MP3 player is in MP3 player heaven. Me and Lily kind of… killed it. I had a Creative Zen V Plus, and it was really really cool. But my reset button was off center a bit, and we were trying to reset it because it froze. But then there was this weird flas of red light of the screen and it refused to turn on again. So, instead of sending it in like most people would, my grandma instead offered to get me another one. Well we couldn’t find another one, so we got this instead. I don’t perticularly like it. It’s not much my style, and I told my grandma this (when she was in a good mood, I made sure.) she said that she’d keep it and we’d buy my old one again. She sent me on the quest ot find it on her favorite website, HSN and I did (as you see in the first link.) But right before that I found this. This one seems much better. It’s got a bigger screen, an expansion slot, a longer battery life, and a  recorder. How cool is that? And, to make things better, with the same memory as my last one, it’s cheaper. So I figured that when my grandma cools down, I’ll tell her. (She had blown up at my great-grandmother a few minutes before. I figured it would be best to just stay away.) Of course, me being me, I had let it slip just a bit early. But hey, when she completely cools down I’ll be able to get it.