No one ever asks the right questions.

Posts tagged “rant

Konnor, Corrin, and Music

I wish I remembered my dreams, so that I could remember dreaming about my characters. Especially Corrin and Konnor. The two of them facinate me. They’re so unalike, but yet they stay by each others side like brothers. “A vengeful God and the merciful Lucifer” as put by Konnor.

I’ve just downloaded another couple of Evanescence songs I’ve never heard of, and I found “Anything For You”, as well as “Eternal”. Both of which are awesome to write to, though the former, is completely, consumingly Konnor. I had a bit of a freak out when I heard it the first time. Parcially because his love is so beautiful, so eternal, and so completely doomed that I feel sorry for what I put him through. Or rather, what Kane puts him through. But, then, no one knows about that, do they?

I’m especially upset that no one in the world knows who Konnor is- besides Lily, and she really doesn’t count because she doesn’t know the whole story either. But he is probably the most interesting, most devilish character I’ve written in a long time. I want so desperately to finish his story, but the only problem is that I know what happens at the end and the middle of the story, not the begining. And, if i’ve learned well from the botched attempt at outlining, I need to write a story all the way through in order to get it done. But, after reading about how Stephanie Meyer started Twilight in the middle, it makes me wonder if I should just start it that way. It’ll be a lot of work, but it might be worth it.

It just might see daylight afterall, no pun intended.

Rachel, though, is a problem, as is Draven. The two of them end up having a relationship, but I don’t know how it’ll play out. I’m sort of waiting for it to do that out on paper, and they’ll figure it out for themselves. Which makes my whole “start in the middle” idea go to hell. Ugh! They’re so annoying. Why can’t they just tell me what’s going to happen so I don’t have to live in all this suspense?

But no, my character’s like to suprise me. Fancy that, they like seeing me freak out almost as much as I like watching other people freak out. Lucky me.

Like, for instance, I was writing Logan’s chapter, discribing how he had saved Silas’s life when they were thirteen, and there was an undertone there that I could almost consider love- and it brought to mind the nature of friendship, and how it was only a downplayed version of love. So, I asked myself, has any of my Divine tried to take those friendships one step further, like…Xsen and Arazorn maybe?

The answer came back with a vauge sense of nonchalance. “Of course,” they said, “We’ve all had flings now and again.” At one point or another, they told me, there was certain pairings between all sort of characters, gender aside. And what does it matter? At the time it happened, there was no reason for it to be considered wrong.

And so, now, thanks to my characters who are probably giggling at my frustrations and embaressment, I can not get the image of Sara and Dianna kissing out of my head. Thanks a lot!

But I digress. “Feels Like Home” by Fort Minor is also a good Nightlife song, as is- ironically enough, seeing as it just started playing- “Understanding” by Evanescence. “Lose Control” I just figured out fits Lily’s book, so now it is banned from all my playlists. “Farther Away” was always good, I just happened to find a new version of it that fits the character better.

And, now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve devided up my playlists according to my mood: “Apassionata,” “Beat the Clock,” “Better to Have Loved and Lost,” “Caught in the Rain,” “Darkness, Consuming,” “Dead Before Dawn,” “Death Becomes Me,” “Going Dark,” “Just Plain Pissed” (can’t you guess?), “Keep Me Here,” “Live Only Once,” “Love at First Kiss,” “The Seduction,” “A Slave to Passion,” “Solemnly Serene,” “Trance” and “The End Must Come.”  Can you guess which one is which?


Elvish and Musings

It’s been a while since I last bothered to write in here, and since my last entry I’ve been busy setting up this new computer I got for Yule. Tis very awesome, and I’m liking it a lot. In the pictures I post here, you should be able to see the pretty ring I got on them.

Those pictures, by the way, are of the very cool elvish that was written all over my arms- by Lily. She’s very good at it. In fact, she’s at home right now- I think anyway- designing things so that she can do a henna tattoo for me and my mom tomorrow. It’s a big thing: I’m re-dyeing my hair, and redoing my nails, getting a henna tattoo and getting my eyebrows waxed. A whole primping deal, but it’ll be fun because Lily will be there, and my mom and her friends. It’s always fun. We listen to too loud music and talk about books and movies and our opinions on things.

I got a whole bunch of books for Christmas too, one of which I finished: Swoon by Nina Malkin. It was…interesting, to say the least.  Very nice and sweet and sexy and dark with a sad ending that makes your heart ache. Ah, and Sinclair Youngblood Powers, the boy with the devil-may-care attitude, set on vengeance, reborn without the burden of a soul- the last being a mistake that the main character, Candice- Dice, for short- will eventually regret. But have hope when you read it. It’s not all sex and drugs- it’s actually pretty cool, in a Tithe kind of way. It ended up lingering on my mind, so I guess that means it was worthy for me to have bothered with. But be prepared. It’s very unconventional, and a ride that goes so fast, when it ends it feels like you’re still moving. Read this, too, it explains it better then I can.

And now I’m almost finished with another, called Intertwined by Gena Showalter, which is written for those of a much lower reading level then myself, which makes it a bit juvenile, but damn is it good. give it another hundred pages worth of detail and I would be in love. The coolest book you ever did see plotwise…if your willing to put up with the writing.

So little has changed since the last time I ranted. I’ve figured out a way to get Werewolf Games into the Nightlife plotline, which makes it a lot more interesting, actually, and brings depth to a character that had otherwise been flat. It destroyed one of the vampire lineages, but it was worth it I think. Asilinn was too awesome a character to just forget about, the perfect mix of arrogance, nonchalance, and damaged goods. And now you get to meet Raymond. Twice. Woohoo!

What else…I have a short story finished for after the end of the Divine Wars series…one I really enjoyed writing, and that will make all fans miserable, if they’re anything like me. Then there’s Corrin, the incredibly horrible Corrin who’s story I promised would never get published, and now, intertwining together the story of Divine Wars and Nightlife kind of made it necessary.

The rest…what rest? I’ve got nothing to tell. My life is very boring. Peaceful even. I’m sitting with my door open, letting in a slight chill to my otherwise stifling hot room, listening to the background music of Aladdin and Connor dancing around the room to it. Caitlin fell asleep an hour ago. Tis a nice sound, the sound of the peacefulness. It kind of makes me miss having small kids in the house. It kind of makes me think about me having kids.

Alas, a story unfolds! My grandmother and I and the rest of the family all decided when the new year rolled in that everyone would write down what they and everyone else would be doing in ten years. Almost every one of them said that I would be married with a kid. I’m a little depressed by this, actually, because I’m quite doubtful it ever will happen, and doubtful I even want it to happen. All these women around me that bitch about being pregnant. I don’t want it. I’d rather take care of myself and look beautiful, thank you. Growing old is not on my to-do list. It might even be my biggest fear. Lucky for me, the women in my family age gracefully, even if they do crap to themselves at my age.

But still, I’m almost afraid to have kids. Most normal kids bitch and moan about things to their parents and those that don’t, like me, end up feeling like crap because they bottle it all up. I don’t know which I could possibly deal with in my children. I care to much about people, especially my family, to have to deal with raising a kid right.

Sigh. And now I’m monologuing. Nothing more to do now then to think about my future…I’ll be musing.


Happy Samhain! [And a Nightlife Rant…]

…or Halloween, if you don’t know what Samhain is. Go look it up. My mother corrected my pronunciation yesterday, I had thought that it was pronounced how it was spelled (Sam-hay/n), but really it’s supposed to sound like (Sow-an) because the original spelling looked like “Sauin”. I love the ancient Celts, as you can obviously tell. And, if it’s less obvious, I’m going a little crazy lately. It might just be that Samhain was yesterday, and I’m all jittery from the candy and the fact that I’ve written close to twenty pages this weekend, which tops all the writing I’ve done this year. (Unfortunately not for NaNoReMo, which I had forgotten all about until just this second, and I don’t know what I could possibly write for it. At this rate I’m not going to do it after all.) It’s not just the quantity of my writing that surprises me, but what the writing’s about. Because, you see, when I began writing about vampires, I promised myself to leave out all the inappropriate stuff, let it be there, but be implied, so that I won’t have to deal with it. Sadly enough, though, all that stuff I didn’t want to write about has become an intricate part of the storyline. My vampires have become, essentially, the place where I write about the things I don’t usually have the courage to write about in my other things. A dumping ground for my hormones.

To go along with this insanity, I’ve been listening to the music I’ve always promised myself I would stay away from. On my current playlist, I have Akon [Right Now and Sexy Bitch], Boys Like Girls [Love Drunk], Cherish [Killa], Cascada [Evacuate the Dancefloor], Katy Perry [I Kissed a Girl], Muse [Undisclosed Desires and Uprising], Britney Spears [Shattered Glass, Circus, 3, and If You Seek Amy], Beyonce [Sweet Dreams], and Jason Derulo [Whatcha Say]. All of which scares the hell out of me, because of the mood it gets me in. I write best when I’m in a mood that fits what I’m writing, and when your writing sex scenes, then what mood do you have to be in?

Alright, that’s a bit of a lie. I wrote three pages about two people talking after such shenanigans took place, and twenty-five or so about one of the most dreaded vampires in existence kind of falling for a boy he finds in the dungeons. I’m struggling to keep it as a friendship, but I’m not sure Cian will let me. He’s been very forceful with how the story is going so far. In fact, he’s one of the most stubborn characters I’ve ever had the trouble of talking to. So much so is that I’m reluctant to even take credit for what I just wrote, he basically dictated it all to me. Even with Konnor I have to drag the plot of them, but Cian gives it to me freely. I kind of wonder why, but after rereading what I just wrote about him, it’s not very often that he understands his own motives to do anything. I feel kind of sad that those thirty some-odd pages won’t get to see daylight, because if I fixed it properly, I could quite easily change that into a book. It was in 1968 though, so it might be a little difficult for me to understand a certain point I kind of glossed over in the thing I just wrote.

Anyway, I move onward. I haven’t written much that hasn’t involved vampires lately, and that doesn’t help you, who knows very little about my Nightlife series I felt kind of sad about that, too. In all my books, I’m always overwhelmed at all the crap I have to work at, to research, to figure out, but in Nightlife most of the important things are figured out, so the rest is easy. I love how it turned out, and how if someone points to a name on the vampire family tree, it’s very likely I can tell you the circumstances of how they died, who they were and how they interact in the vampire world. Certain lines I can explain quite well, while others are still a mystery to me. There are still plenty of blank spots on that list, and it will have easily over 1000 names when I’m done. I also enjoy how the characters talk to me much easier in that series. Like, for instance, the boy that Cian falls for’s name is Aaron, and the reason he was captured is because he went into a vampire club intending to slaughter them all. The reason, I found, he wanted to do that was because a family member had been slaughtered by a vampire. But I was at a loss for a little while, because he didn’t seem like the type to get angry at just that. It needed to be huge. So I thought about it some more, and it seemed only natural that his brother was an addict, and that brother got turned and killed another brother. That’s why Aaron was pissed. I went to go look for him on the family tree, or find a place for him, and there was Brigitte, a girl from 1963 who falls in love with a side character from Konnor’s story, who was turned because a friend of hers introduced her to Ramses who took a liking to her. It seemed only natural that that friend was Aaron’s brother. It fit perfectly, because one of the other girls that Ramses turned had a nice gap in those that she turned that fit him in nicely. and made it so that this story had a nice relevancy to the other stories in Nightlife, so, if I chose, I could easily find an excuse to stick it in there.

To make an already long story shorter, it’s getting very fun, because my characters are becoming more and more real, and it helped me figure out that the only way that I, personally, am able to develop characters is to write their backstories, from beginning to end, and see what it reveals. Because one of my favorite things to do is to figure out how the vampires on my family tree were turned, this is a very nice and easy way for me to make that world real.

Lily and I asked each other which of our books we would go into, given the opportunity. I told her that it was easily Nightlife, because of what I know about the characters. I would go straight to Stalking Shadow, the NYC club, and just start talking to them. I know so much about them that I could probably get away with a lot of things, and almost certainly get turned. And, that, I think, would be the most fun out of everything, don’t you think?


Vampires, Divine Cars and Short Stories

Hello, Maureen here. It’s currently a whopping 12 degrees with a -2 degree windshield. To put it in stupid terms: it’s pretty damn cold here. Even the house, heated though it may be, is freezing. I’m sitting here at the dining room table, typing away, shivering and watching “Interview with the Vampire” and “Queen of the Damned” as I write pieces of Nightlife.

Currently it’s in the middle of “Interview with the Vampire” and I’m suddenly quite enthralled by it. I’ve forgotten just how besotted I am with these movies. Kristen Dunst is amazing in that movie. Besides watching the story of “the saddest vampire you will ever see”, I am trying with difficulty to think of something new to say in my very boring life.

Ah! Lily-wa will appreciate this one. I’ve recently been trying to figure out what cars each of my characters have, if any. Most everyone I know who is at least seventeen knows how to drive, and seeing that they are gods, my characters should have cars. Like Logan, my favorite. Recently, in writing the beginning of the second Divine Wars, I’ve made it so that he’s got a Maserati.

Yep. A Maserati. Very creative of me, no?

I thought not. But I thought I should establish that he has an awesome car. Mat, I think, should have a alright car. Sara will not, her parents are too protective, and Silas will have a secondhand car. Of course, Silas won’t be able to use said car in the series, so it kind of defeats the purpose. Selene does not need a car, and Dianna does not either, though she probably could have one if she wants, but she doesn’t really want it, she fends for herself well enough. The guys in my story, I feel, need material things. Of course, Logan does not exactly want to except his grandfather’s gift of an Italian sports car, but he agrees reluctantly enough. And in being a practical man, he knows that to have it sit in his sister’s driveway would be a waste, so he uses it. Not often, but enough. After the first book he uses it a lot more.

Anyway, enough about cars and on to my most recent thing I’ve been doing. I’ve actually been considering putting up some of my short stories for people to read. I know that in boredom I like to surf this website for people’s writing and look for tips on how to write my own, and little details that I can use in mine. Hopefully, people care enough to come on here and read them.

Yet, alas, who am I to know if I write well? I’m constantly assured that I’m great and that I shouldn’t worry if people like it or not. Teachers compliment me occasionally, and when students read my excerpts they tell me that it’s really good. Yet, again, how should I know? I still have my doubt as to how well I’m writing. Maybe somebody on here, someone who does not know me and doesn’t care nearly as much about hurting my feelings. I’d be really happy if someone could please critique my writing. It’s appreciated. Thanks for listen to my rant. It’s over now.


Characterization

Midterms are over- and aren’t at the same time, I had a snow day today even though I was only going to do my Science Midterm and then go home- and tomorrow I have no school. So here I am, exhausted, and writing on here yet again, and doubting, yet again, whether or not it should be left up here. Then again, I’m forced to admit that it’s a nice way to keep everything organized not to mention that it’s a nice way to procrastinate. But before I came on here, I was reading.

Oh. My. God. Sometimes reading makes me feel so inferior to these amazing books I read. Robert Jordan, Terry Goodkind, David Eddings & Leigh Eddings [The Redemption of Althalus]… They’re all spectacularly above me. They’re the kind of people I only get the privilege of seeing their shoes, and maybe their coat tail. I cannot imagine anyone being moved by my writing in the way that I’m moved by them. It sometimes depresses me. Anyway, that’s not what I was getting at. These books are absolutely spectacular. The Redemption of Althalus and the Sword of Truth Series are both on my top five, and Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time is probably on my top twenty. I’d definitely recommend them.

Once again, I’m getting off track. Books like these get me thinking. Like, for instance, the Sword of Truth Series gets me thinking about human nature and the rules of it. For those that don’t know them, those rules are here. I empathize with the characters more so than I so with my own (and that’s pretty sad, when you think about it). They become real people to me. I hate them and I love them, I wince when they do something stupid and I cheer them on when they’re going in the right direction. It’s a sad world indeed when I’m not really getting my character’s to be as real to me as the characters of other writers.

Let me attempt to explain something here. I search through the websites of some of my favorite authors looking for the faintest hint of a tip for my own way of writing, I’ll take advice where I can get it (everyone is way to nice to me- I never get the criticism that I know that my writing needs). On Stephanie Meyer’s website, she frequently mentions that the character’s she’s created talk to her in her head as she writes and almost dictate the story to her. I’m a bit of a control freak, so I can’t give over that kind of control, but it only makes sense that the personalities that you create should be nearly as real as you are. So, whenever I get the opportunity- like in the nice quite time that after my midterms where I only have myself for company- I hold long conversations with the people I’ve created. Of course, some of them I’m kind of afraid to talk to right now, they don’t come into the plot until later and they freak out everyone else in the story, but the main characters I talk to all the time. Sadly enough, though, the ending is not exactly finished, and the parts that I have finished aren’t exactly closed off: I left a big enough opening so that when I’m done I can continue it on if I can’t let go of them. The characters- now that they’re slowly coming into being for me- resent some of the endings I’ve come up with for them. I challenge all of the relationships, create new ones and mess with people’s heads (especially in the third book, everything goes to hell in that one). Mat, Dianna, and Logan are the ones I’m fleshing out right now, and talking with the most. Sara I’m warily thinking about talking to, along with Selene. Silas I have pretty much down already, so I’m not going to do that to him (I screw with his life a lot more than the rest, and I don’t think that he’d like to answer my questions anyway). Logan is trying to get on my good side right now, because he really really doesn’t want me to write the mythical fourth book. I screw him over more than probably anyone can get screwed over in that one. He dislikes me for that.

In any case, the previous paragraph is an explanation if I mention “Logan says” or “Dianna says” or “Selene is mad at me”, enough so that you won’t be confused by it.


Vulgar Language

I have this problem with people and swearing. Maybe it’s the way that I was raised, but I honestly don’t believe that horrible language is a sign of being uneducated. To me it means being unafraid of those that would ridicule you for using such language. And anyone who writes must know that if you have a rather rough character, it wouldn’t be accurate without vulgar language. Like my character Mat, for instance. He frequently gets drunk and hangs around some illegal casinos in the darker parts of town. He, unlike my other characters, is not really afraid of his language hurting others feelings, because it would only be childish to go “OMG, you swored!” (As many people in my school have done when I’ve said something vulgar, it’s been done before.) He’d scoff at them, and continue on his way. It’s in his very nature, for a very, very, very long time he’s been in contempt for others’ ignorance and others’ arrogance. It’s not quite the way I feel about it, but it’s very similar.

Enough with the ranting about Mat’s feelings about swearing, and getting on with mine. Too many adults, I see, think that swearing is one of the worst things on the planet. While the smart ones edit their language around teachers, the others don’t even bother. Those that don’t bother, I find, are swearing more of ignorance then of contempt. Those that do- a fair few, I find- either swear occasionally when angry, or know enough not to hurt the teachers with “vulgar” language. I want an English major, but I swear. I find in order to write about a character that swears, I need to at least have some experience in comfortably swearing.

Sorry. End of rant.

I’m also reading, in case anyone felt they needed an update (does anyone beside me and Lily read this, anyway?), Dante’s Inferno, which I’ve heard was very good. That’s what I get for having an English teacher as a mother, I guess. A hunger for the classics…


Looking Through Old Accounts

I was rifling through my account on blogger from like, forever ago, and found some really funny stuff. My friend and I are weird. Really weird. I mean, on crack weird. But of course, Lily-wa is a very strange person even without drugs. Me too. And, so, I’m sitting here in my English class, goofing off, and reminiscing about me and Lily-wa in early middle school. Funny stuff there. Weird memories.

Anyway, I have absolutely nothing to do, and now that Lily-wa is staring at the screen like it’s a time warp. I have to watch what I’m typing around her. She had a very sarcastic remark to just about anything I can say. AND she tends to act like my grandmother, picking out the smallest frigging type-o and pointing it out to me. Wow, she’s ANNOYING. But in a good way. If that’s possible. Which I think it is. Maybe.

By the way, before I go off on another tangent or before class is over, I would like to mention where I got the -la and -wa thing at the end of Lily’s name. Once again, Scott Westerfield pulls through and is continually awesome. Me and my friends are going to start using it now. And, oh, I’m so special as to get a -la name. YAY!!!!


Vampire Rant (Short)

I was thinking for a really long while at the end of the math test I had today about really one thing: vampires.

Now, isn’t that a strange thing to be thinking about after a math test? Especially when I could have been looking over my answers. (Yep, I’m just a rebel sometimes. 🙂 ) And it dawned on me that vampires are about the coolest mythical creatures out there, next to demons, but they’re just naturally pretty damn cool. It also dawned on me, to be the main reason why my favorite power is to read minds. I would filter out vampires and norms in a millisecond. Of course, that might be kind of difficult now that I posted it on the damn web. But in the event that I gain the ability to read minds, I’m going out to hunt vampires.

But, alas, I have no mind reading powers, and thus cannot hunt vampires. Well, yet, I’m still working on that one.

Later I’m going to try and post this really awesome quiz i got in an e-mail. (Chain mail sucks, but this one was cool.) Later, trying to cream a friend of mine at speak-in-quotes.


Writer’s Block

Alright, now, I have absolutely nothing to do, seeing as I stayed home from school today (grandparents, ya know? Being the spoiled child I am.), and I have such a bad writer’s block that it’s almost making me sick. So I was sitting here and touching up the new blog, watching Tin Man and playing Dice-A-Roo on Neopets (Yeah, exactly, that’s how bored I am.) when it dawned on my that I could write my first real post on here. Plus, I might get rid of my writer’s block to boot. Two birds with one stone.

So I’m here to tell about my current projects, and what’s on my mind because, hey, what else is a blog for?

Alright, so where to start? I am currently working on three things, alternating when I get bored. The one that is my prime objective (though not the longest one as of yet) is a story called Reclusive, the sequel to Stripped of Darkness. It basically is about gods and goddesses and the world being in danger, to put it simply. It was extremely difficult to make up the history behind this story and the gods and goddesses inside of it. And sense it’s not copyrighted or published yet, I can’t post the name for fear of the damn schmucks out there who would dare to steal it. (Those crap weasels..) So that’s all I have for that one. Maybe later I’ll post my awesome makeshift cover for it.

The next one I’m working on is my favorite of the three, or at least a close second to Moonlight Reign (talked about below). It’s called the Werewolf games, a werewolf “Academy” where young werewolves are trained on how to fight properly and get along as a pack. The only problem is, it’s not really an academy at all, but a winner-takes-all gladiator battle where only one pack will survive, or none. And that doesn’t include the dark history hidden behind both the school and it’s students. And the neat thing about this story is that it came to me in a dream. One of the games, actually, and this one scene between the main character, Morrigan and her boyfriend Raymond. It’s reminds me of a conffesion when I write it, or a suicide note. She’s such a nervous wreck when she tells him her secret. 😦

Anyway, moving on, Moonlight Reign is the longest of the three, and the one with the most potential. It was originally supposed to be a stand alone but as of now, I’m not so sure. Potential like that shouldn’t be waisted like that. But.. hey, whatever. This one is about another world where a young girl stumbled upon another continent, and with it, another species all together. In fact, about a dozen other species’. In this reality, fiction, the story books: they’re all real. But humans get afraid for their survival (yeah, wouldn’t you if a whole bunch of magic-users were found in your backyard?) and set off war. And guess what? they won. The magical people- yes I have a name for them but, again, copyrights, schmucks who steal my ideas, you know- are confined to a small island in the middle of both of the territories. The remaining people could barely fit in such a confining space. So, it’s all about their rebellion and the plan to break away from the humans again. But there is an evil lurking in the shadows: Niobe, the nightmare Queen. And, of course, the one she loves like a son: Caleb and the one that she longs to be her consort…. well, I’ll let you find that out when and if it gets published.

And then there is the one project that isn’t really a project as of yet, merely research. Inspired by the awesome series by Scott Westerfield Midnighters. It’s about a group of kids who are able to go into the world of the dead and demons. And that’s all I really have as of now. Updates later, if I don’t get bored with it.

And so, that’s all I’ve got. Thanks for listening to my first rant (or reading, in this case), I’m sure there’ll be plenty more where this one came from.