No one ever asks the right questions.

Konnor, Corrin, and Music

I wish I remembered my dreams, so that I could remember dreaming about my characters. Especially Corrin and Konnor. The two of them facinate me. They’re so unalike, but yet they stay by each others side like brothers. “A vengeful God and the merciful Lucifer” as put by Konnor.

I’ve just downloaded another couple of Evanescence songs I’ve never heard of, and I found “Anything For You”, as well as “Eternal”. Both of which are awesome to write to, though the former, is completely, consumingly Konnor. I had a bit of a freak out when I heard it the first time. Parcially because his love is so beautiful, so eternal, and so completely doomed that I feel sorry for what I put him through. Or rather, what Kane puts him through. But, then, no one knows about that, do they?

I’m especially upset that no one in the world knows who Konnor is- besides Lily, and she really doesn’t count because she doesn’t know the whole story either. But he is probably the most interesting, most devilish character I’ve written in a long time. I want so desperately to finish his story, but the only problem is that I know what happens at the end and the middle of the story, not the begining. And, if i’ve learned well from the botched attempt at outlining, I need to write a story all the way through in order to get it done. But, after reading about how Stephanie Meyer started Twilight in the middle, it makes me wonder if I should just start it that way. It’ll be a lot of work, but it might be worth it.

It just might see daylight afterall, no pun intended.

Rachel, though, is a problem, as is Draven. The two of them end up having a relationship, but I don’t know how it’ll play out. I’m sort of waiting for it to do that out on paper, and they’ll figure it out for themselves. Which makes my whole “start in the middle” idea go to hell. Ugh! They’re so annoying. Why can’t they just tell me what’s going to happen so I don’t have to live in all this suspense?

But no, my character’s like to suprise me. Fancy that, they like seeing me freak out almost as much as I like watching other people freak out. Lucky me.

Like, for instance, I was writing Logan’s chapter, discribing how he had saved Silas’s life when they were thirteen, and there was an undertone there that I could almost consider love- and it brought to mind the nature of friendship, and how it was only a downplayed version of love. So, I asked myself, has any of my Divine tried to take those friendships one step further, like…Xsen and Arazorn maybe?

The answer came back with a vauge sense of nonchalance. “Of course,” they said, “We’ve all had flings now and again.” At one point or another, they told me, there was certain pairings between all sort of characters, gender aside. And what does it matter? At the time it happened, there was no reason for it to be considered wrong.

And so, now, thanks to my characters who are probably giggling at my frustrations and embaressment, I can not get the image of Sara and Dianna kissing out of my head. Thanks a lot!

But I digress. “Feels Like Home” by Fort Minor is also a good Nightlife song, as is- ironically enough, seeing as it just started playing- “Understanding” by Evanescence. “Lose Control” I just figured out fits Lily’s book, so now it is banned from all my playlists. “Farther Away” was always good, I just happened to find a new version of it that fits the character better.

And, now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve devided up my playlists according to my mood: “Apassionata,” “Beat the Clock,” “Better to Have Loved and Lost,” “Caught in the Rain,” “Darkness, Consuming,” “Dead Before Dawn,” “Death Becomes Me,” “Going Dark,” “Just Plain Pissed” (can’t you guess?), “Keep Me Here,” “Live Only Once,” “Love at First Kiss,” “The Seduction,” “A Slave to Passion,” “Solemnly Serene,” “Trance” and “The End Must Come.”  Can you guess which one is which?

2 responses

  1. chris martin

    remembering dreams about my charectors are easy but i sorry that you cant but hey my inspiration came in the middle of my math class but i couldnt write anything i cant wait till you can read it so far

    September 17, 2010 at 11:58

    • Sade

      It’s not hard, exactly. I just end up remembering more what happens then what the words are. I have a better emotional and pictoral memory then that of a verbal one.

      October 18, 2010 at 11:58

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